In my business class, for extra credit, the teacher challenged us to take the Hely Gonzalez Challenge for two weeks and then write a paper about it. Because I had already made the decide to do this project it was easy for me to do the extra credit. The paper was due yesterday and this what I wrote: (Sorry it's so long)
Hely Gonzalez came to our class as a guest speaker. He is a
painter. Inspired by Michael Phelps, 2 years ago he decided to do a project
called “No Days Off.” Phelps said that professional athletes train 6 days a
week and take one day off. He decided that he wasn’t going to take that one day
off. He trains all 7 days which is why he is the best athlete in the world.
Hely decided to take that same approach to his work. Every day for an hour, he
painted a self portrait, so as to accumulate over the course of one
year, approximately 365 hours of painting practice. Once he completed that
project he went on to start the Proof of Existence project. Basically he went
out to the streets and asked everyone “If you had one hour to do something for yourself every day for one year,
eliminating the option of not doing “it”, what would it be and why would you do
it?”
That night while sitting in class
listening to him, I realized how much I would love to do street photography. This
is one of my favorite types of photography but its the one that scares me the
most. I have such a hard time asking people if I can photography them in candid
situations. I realized that it is because of how uncomfortable I am in front of
the camera. I love to take pictures but I hate having my pictures taken. I have
horribly low self esteem. That comes across in my inability to ask people if I
can photograph them. I automatically assume they are going to be as
uncomfortable as I am and I project my insecurities on them. So
instead of approaching people and giving them a chance to say yes or no, I skip
the situation all together. I photograph buildings and the landscape and
everything but the people. They may be included in the picture but they are not
the focus. This is something I want to overcome.
I've
decided to take Hely's idea and make it my own. The only way I will ever be
comfortable in front of the camera (and thereby be comfortable asking strangers
if I can photograph them) is if I just get in front of the camera. A LOT. If
doesn't matter if I'm not where I want to be weight wise or if my hair isn't
the style I want or anything like that. I need to be comfortable with who I am
before I can become who I want to be. For 365 days I am going to take a
self-portrait. I've only set a couple rules for myself.
1. I
have to take a picture every day.
2. It
has to be taken on a REAL camera. Not a cell phone.
3. It
can't look the same as a picture I've already taken.
I
could take a cell phone picture of myself every day. That would be easy. I know
what angle I look good in on the cell phone. I can see what the picture looks
like as I'm taking it. That isn't a challenge. Plus every one of those cell
phone pictures looks the exact same. Maybe a different shirt, or hairstyle, but
the face is the same. I want to get past that. I want to be able to be
comfortable with me and realize that I am beautiful on the inside and out. Some
pictures will be simple straight forward self portraits. Some will be photo
shopped. I will allow myself total creative license on these as long as they
follow the three rules. I also decided to create a blog following my progress
(www.365facesofme.blogspot.com). It would be easy to say I’m working on this
project and just spend 30 seconds to grab the camera and quickly snap a
picture. No one would know if it was horrible. No one would know that I put no
effort into it. I would technically be fulfilling my own rules for the project
but it wouldn’t be in the spirit of the project. By creating the blog it makes
me accountable to actually create something every day. I now have to put
thought into each picture. I have to take the time to decide what I’m going to
do and how I want the picture to look.
I’ve
completed 15 days of this project so far. Some days have been harder than others.
Some days I just don’t feel like taking another picture of myself. There are
days I wake up and I can’t even bear the thought of letting anyone else see
what I look like. Those are the days that I make sure I take the picture. I
know it would be easy to just skip a day here and there but I think that would
be detrimental in the end. I think that if I allow myself to skip a day I will
end up eventually giving up on the project. I don’t want that to happen because
I can already feel growth. Even if its small growth I can feel it. I’m getting
a little more comfortable in front of the camera. I don’t hate every self
portrait. I have taken 454 portraits and I like 24 of them. That means I hate about
95% of them but it really is an improvement. Because I’m only on day 15 it does
mean that I like more pictures than have been posted. I even ended up liking a
couple where I am making a weird face.
In
conclusion, I am grateful that I have started this challenge. I am excited to
see where it will take me.
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